Women talking in 50s style illustration motif about Ted Cruz

Rafael “Ted” Cruz Submits To Another Paddling

by Richard Cameron


Rafael “Ted” Cruz Submits To Another Paddling

Just when you thought it impossible for Rafael “Ted” Cruz , Junior Senator of the state of Texas, to humiliate himself even more than he did when he voluntarily agreed to serve as Donald Trump’s cock holster, Rafael outdid himself, figuratively and literally.

On January 5th of this year, in comments pertaining to last year’s assault on the Capitol, Cruz (correctly in the fashion of a broken clock), described the mob’s attack in a Senate Committee rules hearing referencing January 6th, 2021 – as follows:

“We are approaching a solemn anniversary this week … And it is an anniversary of a violent terrorist attack on the Capitol where we saw the men and women of law enforcement demonstrate incredible courage, incredible bravery, risk their lives to defend the men and women who serve in this Capitol.”

To paraphrase that for Senator Cruz’ constituents, “S–t Howdy, that was a sure fire hum dinger, I ain’t a foolin’ – Yeeeeeeee Hawww!” Rafael is still trying to master his ability to speak down to his voters. He’s giving it the old Harvard try, at least. 

In another tolling of the bell on the broken clock, he likewise said last May 28th:

“The attack at the Capitol was a despicable act of terrorism and a shocking assault on our democratic system. The Jan. 6 terrorist attack on the Capitol was a dark moment in our nation’s history, and I fully support the ongoing law enforcement investigations into anyone involved.”

Cruz had also released a statement the very day Congress reconvened to certify the election, calling the day a “despicable act of terrorism.”

Then just last December, Cruz, in an Associated Press interview, again labeled the insurrection as, “we saw a terrorist attack on the Capitol.”  

The night of the 5th – Wednesday, Fox News‘ Fave propagandist, Tucker Carlson satirized Americans, including elected officials and members of the media that have lamented the insurrection, the mayhem that it featured and the threat on our system of democracy – and savaged Cruz for his comments.

“It wasn’t a violent terrorist attack. So why are you telling us that it was, Ted Cruz? And why are none of your Republican friends — who are supposed to be representing us and all the people been arrested during this purge — not saying anything?”


Cruz saw the broadcast or was alerted to it and called the show producers, pleading with them for an opportunity to apologize to Carlson’s audience, which just so happens to also be the Senator’s political base.



Mother Tucker calls out her boy Rafael for lying

The Qanon / MAGA propaganda platform, errrrr, pardon me, ‘network’, granted Cruz a call-in the next night, where Carlson confronted Cruz, hurling this verbal assault accusing Cruz of being a liar – “You called this a terror attack when by no definition was it a terror attack. That’s a lie. You told that lie on purpose and I’m wondering why you did.”

The actual definition of domestic “terrorism” according to federal law enforcement, stands in opposition to Carlson’s assertion. The FBI defines domestic terrorism as

“violent, criminal acts committed by individuals and/or groups to further ideological goals stemming from domestic influences, such as those of a political, religious, social, racial, or environmental nature.”

It’s clear that Tucker Carlson, is positioning last year’s insurrection as “nothing to see, move along” and the reaction to it from all but the far right as, “sound and fury, signifying nothing.”  It’s as doubtful that he actually believes that, as it is certain that Tucker has had his two COVID vaxxes and his booster. Why, because the parent company of Faux News requires it as a condition of employment, don’t ya know?

Allow me to put Carlson’s (and the network’s) concept of January 6, 2021 as “no biggie” into perspective, with a point of comparison. We published a commentary (below), on FNC’s response to a mere overenthusiastic unofficial lighting of their “All American Christmas Tree” a couple of features ago.


Things We’re Watching – Fake Patriotic Holiday Trees Ablaze

The network and its nightly grievance mongers compared the torching of the uber jingoistic fake tree, to actual attacks on America such as 9-11 and Pearl Harbor.  No, really, they did. But according to the screed that Carlson read inauthentically from the prompt screen in his seemingly interminable monologue – violent sedition as displayed in the assault on the Capitol, was small potatoes relatively speaking and those among us who see it as the nightmare it was, are snowflakes.


Teddy has a brain fart

Now here’s something to consider. Senator Rafael had an entire day to reflect on what a no good, really bad idea it was to ask to appear on Tucker Carlson’s poop show the next evening. All day.

But after considering the minuses, which exponentially outnumbered the pluses, he went ahead and did so anyway and in the worst possible cringeworthy and obsequious fashion, beginning with, “The way I phrased things yesterday, it was sloppy and it was frankly dumb.” This was after Carlson flat out branded Cruz as a liar.

“I think you’re smarter than I am. And you never use words carelessly. And yet you called this a terror attack when by no definition was it a terror attack. That’s a lie. You told that lie on purpose, and I’m wondering why you did.”

Carlson is correct in one respect. Cruz is smarter, as book smart goes, even though he has proven himself to not even be very street smart or shrewd in how he functions as a politico. Rafael serially shoots himself in both feet with one foolhardy comment or tweet after another.

But as to the lie? Does anyone not tell a lie on purpose? Someone might tell you after having been caught, “oops, my bad, I accidentally told a lie”, to which your response immediately is, “aha, there you go again telling another one!”  Even so, Cruz is not guilty of lying in this instance, he’s just guilty of pusillanimity – for those of you in Shackleford, Texas, that’s Chickenshit.

Cruz tried to put a Cherry on top of the weak sauce drenched sundae to ameliorate Carlson and his own voters who were tuned in, by trying to reset all of it with an attack on Democrats and the “corporate media.” “It was a mistake to use the word yesterday because the Democrats and the corporate media have so politicized it,” he said.

It didn’t cut any ice with Carlson.  Cruz tried again.

“What I was referring to are the limited number of people who engaged in violent attacks against police officers. I think you and I both agree that if you assault a police officer, you should go to jail. I wasn’t saying the thousands of peaceful protesters supporting Donald Trump are somehow terrorists. I wasn’t saying the millions of patriots across the country supporting Trump are terrorists.”

Carlson wrapped up the segment by placing a tag on the bag he placed Rafael in and turned out the lights. 

Feckless Vs. Reckless

So, Ted Cruz is a weak ass punk with a mouth on him. Same as Trump, it’s just that Ted never had the knack that Donny has to fashion a lifestyle around monumental debt and grifting. 

Ted may be deplorable and disappointing and at moments I am truly tempted to feel pity for him, but I can’t.  I can’t, because Ted is the sole architect of his own grief. And if I feel empathy for anyone in his household, it’s Heidi. The woman has suffered greatly, but somehow, as far as we know, she has kept a grip on her own sanity, although there have been moments. Heidi would also be a far better candidate for public office in that she is as intelligent as her husband – likely more so, and is vastly more sensible and politically moderate. 

So, Ted is feckless and not much else. He has an addiction disorder to hold onto elected office at any cost, even that of his personal dignity, which we assume he had at one point in his life. Gone, now.

Tucker Carlson is another punk with a mouth on him. A mouth that gapes open much too much for someone we suspect is actually able to take air in through his nostrils. But Tucker, unlike Ted, is actually dangerous.

He has his own nightly bully platform and he has no boundaries in terms of what he will push out each night to an audience that is consumed with hysteria and fear and has a bottomless appetite for more. The consequences aren’t even an afterthought.

He has already seen the rotten fruit of his work and instead of taking even a moment for self examination, has charted his course to amplify anger, hate and indecency.

I blame the parent. In this case, the parent is Rupert Murdoch and so long as the money keeps pouring in, Murdoch will continue indulging his rhetorical arsonists. Damn his soul to Hell. He and his Faux News sock puppets.


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