The Shame of Assault, Molestation and Rape; and How False Accusers Damage Survivors

by J. Lee

The Shame of Assault, Molestation, Rape and False Accusers

My heart aches for girls, boys, women and men who have been victims of sexual crimes committed by family members, acquaintances and strangers. Rape and molestation is all about power and control.

It is not about the age of the victim, what a person wears, the victims appearance, if the victim is sexually active or if the person is a prostitute. No means no!

Even after a rape or assault crime, people are violated by the medical process, the rape kit and photos. They feel victimized again as they are forced to re-live their trauma and the nightmare of the crime as they provide details to law enforcement.


Rape and molestation are murder of the victim’s soul. They get a life sentence with memories they can never escape.

The sad reality is that the victim is the one on trial which is why many cases never go to trial. The crime is swept under the rug never to be mentioned again, until memories overtake thoughts many years later, leading some victims to seek counseling.

Victims live with shame, guilt and fear. They can experience PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) which can be triggered by the time of the year, the anniversary date of the crime, a smell, a color or a memory.

Some become promiscuous with the mindset they can’t bet raped if their permission is given. Their fear controls their actions, so in casual encounters they say yes when they want to say no. One night stands further add to their shame.

Many try to self-medicate through drugs and alcohol.

Some victims are so distraught they commit suicide.


Many people have the opinion that high profile rapists like Brock Turner bought their way out of the sentence they deserved.

Outrage over 6-month sentence for Brock Turner in Stanford rape case – Widespread outrage has erupted over a California judge’s decision to give a former Stanford University swimmer a six-month jail sentence for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman. Critics are blasting the decision as far too lenient.

Excerpt from Full Letter to the Judge by Dan Turner, Brock’s Father: As it stands now, Brock’s life has been deeply altered forever by the events of Jan 17th and 18th. He will never be his happy go lucky self with that easy going personality and welcoming smile. His every waking minute is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear, and depression. You can see this in his face, the way he walks, his weakened voice, his lack of appetite. Brock always enjoyed certain types of food and is a very good cook himself. I was always excited to buy him a big ribeye steak to grill or to get his favorite snack for him. I had to make sure to hide some of my favorite pretzels or chips because I knew they wouldn’t be around long after Brock walked in from a long swim practice. Now he barely consumes any food and eats only to exist. These verdicts have broken and shattered him and our family in so many ways. His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life. The fact that he now has to register as a sexual offender for the rest of his life forever alters where he can live, visit, work, and how he will be able to interact with people and organizations.


Sexual crimes have been committed by pastors and priests within various denominations. Not even ministries are immune.

Startling Statistics: Child sexual abuse and what the church can begin doing about it – It is critical to note that this abuse is no less prevalent within the faith community. In fact, there are studies that demonstrate that the faith community is even more vulnerable to abuse than secular environments.

Church allowed abuse by priest for years – Since the mid-1990s, more than 130 people have come forward with horrific childhood tales about how former priest John J. Geoghan allegedly fondled or raped them during a three-decade spree through a half-dozen Greater Boston parishes.


False accusations make is difficult to report molestation and rape. Those who lie create doubt. Lies are harmful to those with genuine claims.

Accusers lie for various reasons such as they are attention seekers, shame after a one night stand, the need for sympathy, revenge, adultery and mental illness.


Crystal Mangum, Durham, North Carolina- Accused several Duke University lacrosse team players of rape.

Tawana Brawley, New York City – “Brawley was just 15 years old when she told her family — and later reporters and police — that she had been raped by six white men, who scrawled racial epithets on her body and left her in a vacant lot, according to The New York Times. Her case, which was widely publicized by an up-and-comer named Sharpton — inflamed New York City, but was dismissed after a seven-month grand jury trial found her allegations unfounded.”

VIDEO: The Tawana Brawley Story – “In bold documentary style, Retro Report looks back at the major stories that shaped the world using fresh interviews, analysis and compelling archival footage. Produced by Retro Report for The New York Times.”


Nicola Osborne, Portsmouth, Hampshire – “A mother-of-three was jailed for 18 months today for falsely claiming she had been abducted and raped because she was worried her husband would find out that she had a one-night stand.”

Elizabeth Paige Coast, Hampton, Virginia – “The consequences for sending an innocent man to prison for four years include paying $90,000 in restitution along with her jail sentence.”

Biurny Peguero, Manhattan, NY – “In court she answered Judge Charles Solomon’s questions with short, soft spoken answers, agreeing that the man who spent four years in state prison for her rape hoax had, in fact, done nothing.”

Rosanne England, Hampshire, UK – ‘Hampshire woman jailed for false rape claim’ – “However, the Forensic Science Service discovered that England’s clothing had been cut before being torn and 24 days later she finally admitted to police the allegation was completely untrue.”


Too many are quick in their rush to judgement before the facts.

Those accused and those who accuse are innocent until proven guilty.

Those found guilty of molestation and rape should receive the strongest sentence possible.

Too many perpetrators are given a slap on the wrist. In this writer’s opinion those convicted should receive a death sentence for killing their victims soul.

Even when the criminal is convicted he/she is separated from the general prison population so the person is not harmed. They should be placed in the general population as a deterrent.

Those who falsely accuse should be charged for the harm they have done to those they accuse. Penalties should include time behind bars, counseling and restitution.

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