Where Did Real Men Go? Women; The Blame is Partially Yours

direction signs one point right (strength) the other pointing opposite left (weakness)

 J. Lee

Where Did Real Men Go?

What happened?

I want to stress this story is not an attempt to bash men. In fact, this story also addresses the woman’s movement who is equally responsible. I don’t think men are 100% at fault, because women have done their part in role confusion.

Society has hit a crossroad of extreme gender confusion. Some men have lost their masculinity and some women have lost their femininity. Traditional roles have been replaced with uncertainty. We have lost harmony and balance between male and female interactions.

Boys and girls are predominately taught by female teachers. Additionally, liberal schools teach boys to be ashamed of their masculinity and to reject traditional masculine virtues.

Thanks to rising divorce rates and children born out of wedlock we have one parent homes with missing fathers. Some women bypass men and go directly to sperm banks. When that happens children are raised by single women. Boys have no male role model to learn from or look up to.

Children with no fathers will find their own role model. They can be depressed and angry. They act out from their frustrations. Sometimes the family they choose is within a gang. The prison system is filled with wounded men and women from single parent homes.

Girls seek out father figures. They can become promiscuous in their attempt to find a man to fulfill the loss of their father who was missing from their childhood.

Video: How Do Absent Dads Affect Children? “Mayor-elect Andy Berke is holding his second public forum Thursday, this time on youth development and education.We’re digging deeper into how the home life of a child plays into the road they choose, especially those kids who grow up without a father in their lives.”

Toxic Masculinity

Some segments of society say some men have toxic masculinity. The definition would probably only apply to a small percentage of the population.

Wikipedia: Toxic masculinity

– The concept of toxic masculinity is used in the social sciences to describe traditional norms of behavior among men in contemporary American and European society that are associated with detrimental social and psychological effects. Such “toxic” masculine norms include dominance, devaluation of women, extreme self-reliance, and the suppression of emotions.

Other traditionally masculine traits such as devotion to work, pride in excelling at sports, and providing for one’s family, are not considered to be “toxic”.


The liberal agenda is to weaken men. In the early age of television men were seen as strong, capable, loving and heads of households. They were rugged ready to lay down their lives to save those they love.

Now television has replaced strong male characters with weak ones. Husbands are often seen as lazy and overweight. They are disrespected by wives and children. They are called idiots and stupid in need of help from women or their children.

Merriam-Webster Definition:

demasculinized; demasculinising; demasculinisation – to remove the masculine character or qualities of  emasculateemasculated, emasculating – to deprive of strength, vigor, or spirit:  weaken


In 1994, the term Metrosexual was first referenced for a man who is focused on grooming and appearance. It is used for a man who is focused on appearance.

He loves grooming, perfectly styled hair with an abundance of hairspray, eyebrow plucking, wearing tailored jeans and coordinated outfits. He might even wax his leg and chest hair.

Many women find it distressing when it takes longer for their boyfriend or husband to get ready than they do.

Wikipedia – Metrosexual is a portmanteau of metropolitan and sexual, coined in 1994 describing a man who is especially meticulous about his grooming and appearance, typically spending a significant amount of time and money on shopping as part of this.


Romance is difficult when roles are misunderstood.

Is dating and courtship a thing of the past? It seems that way since few take the time to get to know each other. If you don’t have friendship you have nothing.

Too many rush to fulfill their physical attraction. As the saying goes, ‘why buy the cow when you can get milk for free’? Once sexual attraction diminishes there is no foundation to support longevity in a relationship.

It is rare to find a man who open doors or pull out chairs for their women. Women are part to blame for that, because some women scold men when they do.

When men have little respect for women who are the weaker sex they can be taken for granted.


During the women’s liberation era of the 1960’s women screamed to be equal. Their militant approach alienated men and turned them off. In my opinion chivalry is dead, because the woman’s movement killed it.

The sexual revolution further hurt women. Many men capitalized on that taking advantage of the need for women to be loved.

I agree with equal pay for equal work, but not all things are equal. Not all work can be done by women. Some work demands higher pay. Some jobs require manual labor and strength such as for heavy lifting that women are incapable of.

Some women take men and manners for granted. They have no appreciation for men who assist and respect them. You can’t blame men for resenting treating a lady with kindness when they get scolded.

Good men are unappreciated. So many women want the bad boy then complain when they get one.


Some women expect male boundaries. It used to be nice to receive a compliment and to be appreciated. Now women lash out when men try to express their appreciation as recently seen in the rant by Ashley Judd. What is a man to do? He is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.

Video: Ashley Judd Triggered Beyond Repair When Airport Employee Calls Her ‘Sweetheart’


I know there are still good men. They are harder to find now than they were in the past, but they do exist. I hope men don’t lose heart. Women like me still appreciate them. I always say thank you to men who open my door. I still say think you to men who help me when they know I am struggling. I still believe in romance, courtship and flowers.

As for women, get a grip!  Stop treating men like the enemy. Appreciate them and quit scolding them.

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